I have often wondered, if we enjoy watching sleazy details of personal lives exposed, earlier on 70 MM and now OTT? Is it human desire to be voyeuristic and watch people in pain, a bit like those who savour boxing matches? And, only here in Fabulous Lives of Bollywood Wives, there are verbal duels that are polished but innately ugly?

Many have criticized filmmaker Karan Johar for bringing the lives of women, who are born rich, married rich, or star daughters into the limelight (the only one oddity was Kalyani Chawla nee Saha, whom I have known for the last 30 years. She rose from a front desk girl in Taj Hotels to a now astute businesswoman).

“I prefer things to people as they don’t talk back” was a priceless statement on how rich people think and don’t like being questioned. Also on how they dress in shiny things, with animals glittering on their arms; how they fight for attention and hold on to old relationships/ friendships – like any of us though – and their children flying away, yet hoping to find love in a treacherous city like Delhi.

When I spoke to Riddhima Kapoor, the daughter of two very well-known stars of Bollywood from the 70s, (Neetu and Rishi Kapoor), especially when I watched Karz (Rishi’s swift moves on the dance floor), I don’t think his daughter, rather skinny, and porcelain white has inherited any of those skills.

When Johar asked Riddhima to join the show, she admits it was uncomfortable being in front of cameras all day, shooting for over a year. “It is harder than doing a movie, as you get no retakes, so much personal stuff is out there in the show. Sometimes the light was not good, lots of angles had to be shot, and the video diaries were exhausting,” she says, adding her mom binge watched it. “I am addicted to Netflix and love horror movies,” she says.

I watched her in Fabulous Lives of Bollywood Wives, even though I am a crime serial watcher, I was surprised to see petty fights, disagreements and so much hype over frankly nothing! The United Nations data says India has nearly 195 million people who are undernourished, which is one quarter of the world’s undernourished population. Still, we are addicted to seeing fabulism – ladies dressed in designer wear, dripping diamonds, carrying bags which can feed half of Botswana, and talking about how they can’t love, without realising there are bigger problems in life, clearly! Some are struggling with hunger every day not wondering which decadent Roberto Cavalli dress to wear at an art show.

Riddhima who studied in London, where she met her husband, Delhi-based businessman Bharat Sahni, moves in the swish crowd. I have often spotted her with blonde tresses in place, looking like a million bucks, just out of a salon, with everything prim and shimmering. No wonder her brother Ranbir Kapoor has allegedly openly made fun of her “fake accent and how she has anger issues like her father Rishi”. Though when I spoke to her, I did not notice an accent!

“I was brought up like a normal kid, grounded, my mother Neetu gave up her stupendous career to raise a family. We never went on film sets, in fact family dinners were a must. With dad I remember we used to play ‘quiz time’, when he would ask us questions on everything from films to politics,” says Riddhima, admitting she saw less of him, as he would be working three to four shifts a day, sometimes.

I find it hard to believe it was a simple life, but I do feel Ridhima is not what people make her out to be – “spoilt”. She told me, “If I wanted to act I could. There was no restriction, but I never had that conversation with my father. He would have been shocked at first if I had expressed my interest in being a heroine, but he would have come around. Like he did when I told him I wanted to marry Bharat. If I spring any surprise on dad, he would get stressed; I would see him pacing up and down in the corridor of our home,” she remembers.

She says she enjoyed watching Prem Rog, Rafoo Chakkar, Bobby and Chandni. I can only imagine what a young girl, seeing her father romance a beautiful woman on screen must have felt. “His last movie was Sharmaji Namkeen with Paresh Rawal. When he passed away before finishing it, we all sobbed,” she says.

Her spat with multi-billionaire wife Shalini Passi, when she spilt wine on her and didn’t apologise, has been replayed on social media. Anyway, I don’t trust anything I see there as I’m aware it’s all hype for 15 seconds of fame. I have known all three Delhi women – Shalini Passi, Kalyani Chawla (earlier Saha) and Riddhima Kapoor – since I started my career almost 30 years ago – seeing their trajectory, their highs and lows.

Riddhima mentioned how her mother Neetu has been a binding factor of the family, often coming over to Delhi and spending time with the family. She has also been her confidant. “I have a young daughter Samara, who aspires to be an actress. She loves Ananya Pandey, and wants to dress like her. I will fully support all her dreams. My mom is someone I look up to. I admire her strength in the toughest times, also her calmness,” admits Riddhima, who adds, she has unique relationships with everyone in the large Kapoor family. Whether it is Bebo, Lolo, or Natasha Nanda (Shweta Bachchan’s sister-in-law).

The key question is, ‘Is there a Delhi-Mumbai divide?’ When I started writing on fashion in 2002, there was a split, Delhi got its own fashion week, and Mumbai went with Lakme. Since then, tension prevailed till COVID changed our lives forever and got the two together to do one unified showcasing twice a year.

Riddhima has lived in both cities – one where she was born, and the other she made her home. But Delhi was where she came to see her maternal aunt, her father’s sister as a teen and spent a lot of time with cousins. “You know I dressed a bit OTT for Netflix, and that’s not how I usually am,” she laughs. I found the green gloves too much, like her off-shoulder dress when she was visiting a forest reserve! But that’s not surprising in Delhi, as girls here wear tube dresses in the day, sequinned corsets and indulge in shine big time. So Riddhima is not an anomaly.

I find it hard to believe when she tells me, she spends the day in comfy pyjamas, track pants, jeans, and tees, for in Delhi you can’t survive with that wardrobe. “I wore Gaurav Gupta and Manish Malhotra, as well as Abu Jani and Sandeep Khosla,” she admits. “People want to see drama, fights, and a show is finally entertainment. So we gave them that — viewers must enjoy themselves,” she says. But at what cost is the moot question?

Are girls’ fights always exaggerated? I believe so, as patriarchy has given them many monikers, and I don’t believe in any. Riddhima agrees, the Delhi girls and she were “never friends, just acquaintances.” Maheep and Sanjay Kapoor were her uncle’s friends, and Neelam Kothari was her father’s heroine. “Neelam is angelic, will never use expletives, while Maheep is my spirit animal, who does not keep anything in her heart. Bhavna is very righteous; Seema is a chiller. Shalini is polite and soft-spoken, while Kayani is someone I admire, the way she dresses with a great sense of style,” she candidly admits.

No one likes their personal lives to be part of a public discourse. I feel especially sad for Seema Sajdeh who is trying to move forward after a divorce, but is judged by her own children, and is forced to move closer to them in the show. Women always make compromises, albeit reluctantly, a divorce haunts them, many stay in bad marriages due to societal pressures. It is worse if you marry a known personality. How do you handle a challenging society, which moves in gangs and ghettos and won’t have a place for you anymore?

“I won’t call myself guarded, but I was myself, no pretence,” says Riddhima, who also runs a successful precious jewellery brand she started in 2015. Ranbir and Riddhima are close in an odd way. The sister says her brother is a doting/ besotted father to Raha, and Alia, besides being a talented actress, knows how to balance home and a career. “I had a skin problem a few weeks ago, and Alia was the one advising me what to do,” she smiles.

The parting shot: “I don’t read, never have been a reader, but I do play the piano by ear, and can replicate tunes and melodies.”– Asmita is the Lifestyle Editor of NRI Focus. She is an award winning journalist who has been writing on fashion for the last 32 years